Surprises

Nick at Nite is terrific for women with new babies that get up in the middle of the night to nurse. It kept me entertained for months after I had all of my babies. All of my babies were unusual nursers in that they early on got onto a schedule of eating every 4 to 6 hours but when it was time to eat, they nursed for at least an hour. Which left me incapacitated for that time. For those midnight feedings, I was always afraid to lay in bed with the newborn, so I would get up and go downstairs to nurse and if I didn't watch TV, I'd fall asleep myself. I was afraid of dropping the baby if I fell asleep, so I had to keep myself up.

Anyway, I would watch Nick at Nite. A popular and repeatedly running show was Roseanne. On one episode, the older daughters told their younger brother that he was an "accident" and that his parents hadn't really wanted him to be born. The conversation goes like this:

D.J.: Was I an accident?
Roseanne: No, D.J., you were a surprise.
D.J.: Oh. What's the difference?
Roseanne: Well, an accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it.

Our surprise was Willie James who turned 2 years old yesterday. When I first found out I was pregnant with Will, I was so scared. Maggie had just turned a year and I was so worried about how I was going to handle a 19 month old and an infant, was I ruining Maggie's life by bringing another baby into the house so soon? What were our families going to say? I was excited about the pregancy, what a blessign, but having told some folks already and gotten mixed reactions, I felt the pregnancy was something I was keeping to myself for a while longer. I was probably about four months along when I went to book club one night knowing I was going to announce my pregnancy. We hadn't been together for a while and we were all catching up on what was new in each other's lives and finally it was my turn - I said, with some hesitation, "Well, I'm going to have another baby!"

My dear friend, Michelle, jumped out of her chair, squealing with delight, giving me the hugest hug ever, and gushed all over me. Everyone else expressed their happiness for me as well, and all was good. Michelle's reaction to my announcement lifted the pressures and fears I was feeling instantly. I will never be able to thank her enough for that reaction. It was exactly what I needed, and I know that God planned for me to be there to witness that to reinforce to me that everything was GOOD and exactly as He had planned. I will never be able to thank Michelle enough for her reaction. It reinforced to me that my pregnancy was a very good thing and that we had been triply blessed.

I think about that a lot when I think of Willie James. He turned two years old yesterday and he is such an amazing blessing in our lives. I had worried so much about how Maggie would deal with a sibling so close in age to her - and it has never been an issue. Sure, once in a while we have instances of sibling rivalry, but so do Maggie & Walker and Walker and Will - it doesn't seem to have much to do with age.

In a phone conversation once with my sister, Erin, she said something along the lines of that she thought it was wonderful that my children were so close in age because sometimes she felt the age differences between us (about 3 years between each sister) was too great and there were times that she wished we were all closer in age. I don't think Erin will ever know how much that conversation meant to me either. And the times when the kids are tearing me in a million different directions, each one needing something from me, I think to that conversation and try to think to the future and how nice it will be for them to be experiencing life together.

But for the today, I celebrate the life of my littlest man. My candy loving, rough necking, bull headed boy.

Happy Birthday, my littlest love. May your life be filled with as many happy "surprises" as you have provided for me!