It's One Of Those Days
Today is another snow day here in Western PA. We didn't actually have any snow, just lots and lots of ice. Of course, this meant that everyone was awake by 7 AM. Erik left at 4 AM, which meant I slept fitfully for the three hours between his leaving and the kids waking. I never sleep well when he leaves because I worry about him out there on the treacherous roads with crazy people who don't want to believe the roads are treacherous.
To top that off, I'm not so much a morning person, so when we have the opportunity to sleep in, I sneak into bedrooms, close the curtains even tighter and turn off night lights to preserve the sanctity of the dark. Unfortunately, about 7, Maggie came into my room. Which was okay because I can usually turn on PBS Kids and she will lie in bed with me until hunger distracts her closer to 8:00. About 7:15, I hear the opening and slamming of dresser drawers. I knew then Williebeast was awake. He wants to get dressed right away in the morning and his three year old brain cannot be troubled to remember the order of his drawers. His dresser from top drawer to bottom goes:
Top Drawer: Underwear and socks
Second Drawer: Pajamas
Third Drawer: Play Shirts
Fourth Drawer: Play Pants
He doesn't even have to factor in his "good" clothes because they are all hung in the closet. He has to open drawers one, three and four, in that order, and he can be dressed. Unfortunately, his brian works like this.
Time to get dressed.
I need pants.
Open top drawer. Pants are not in there. Slam drawer shut.
Open second drawer. Pants not in there. Slam drawer shut.
Open third drawer. Pants are not in there. Slam drawer shut.
Open fourth drawer. Pants are there. Grab first pair of pants.
Oh! Before I put on my pants I need underwear.
Repeat drawer opening and closing in reverse until all items of clothing have been located.
Which leads to about 16 counts of drawer slamming. Which leads to the awakening of Walker, who upon being told "you have a snow day! Go back to sleep and enjoy it!" decides he cannot sleep one minute longer and has to wake up.
Insert three separate trips to the bathroom with three separate flushings and you have now woken up the baby.
Did I mention that mornings are not my favorite?
When you are up at 7 with three active kids who have torn the house apart from one end to the other by 9:15, spilled three bowls of cereal, fed the baby fruit loops, shot you three times in the face "axidwentawy" with a nerf dart gun, and then demand to go outside, it became the kind of day where you need some stupid laughs.
If you're familiar with The Far Side comics/books/calendars, you will "get" this site.
Here's a review that gives a pretty good description of what the site is about:
Who actually lives this way?
Nobody, of course. But what if they did? What would their lives and relationships be like? Actor/writer/comedian Molly Erdman provides us with her answer at a website called Catalog Living(http://catalogliving.net/page/1).
The pictures are all gorgeous -- the way catalog pictures tend to be. Serious money was spent on making these photos lush and deep and full-colored. But what are they shooting?
The entry for 21 September shows two throw pillows shaped and painted like curled-up kittycats. Erdman's caption? "Well, Elaine, if they're just pillows then why do we have a litter box? And, more importantly, who is using it?"
With most of them, however, you have to be looking at the picture as you read the caption. Otherwise it makes no sense. So all I can suggest is that you go to the site and see for yourself! It will change forever the way you look at catalogs forever.
Some of my favorites:
To top that off, I'm not so much a morning person, so when we have the opportunity to sleep in, I sneak into bedrooms, close the curtains even tighter and turn off night lights to preserve the sanctity of the dark. Unfortunately, about 7, Maggie came into my room. Which was okay because I can usually turn on PBS Kids and she will lie in bed with me until hunger distracts her closer to 8:00. About 7:15, I hear the opening and slamming of dresser drawers. I knew then Williebeast was awake. He wants to get dressed right away in the morning and his three year old brain cannot be troubled to remember the order of his drawers. His dresser from top drawer to bottom goes:
Top Drawer: Underwear and socks
Second Drawer: Pajamas
Third Drawer: Play Shirts
Fourth Drawer: Play Pants
He doesn't even have to factor in his "good" clothes because they are all hung in the closet. He has to open drawers one, three and four, in that order, and he can be dressed. Unfortunately, his brian works like this.
Time to get dressed.
I need pants.
Open top drawer. Pants are not in there. Slam drawer shut.
Open second drawer. Pants not in there. Slam drawer shut.
Open third drawer. Pants are not in there. Slam drawer shut.
Open fourth drawer. Pants are there. Grab first pair of pants.
Oh! Before I put on my pants I need underwear.
Repeat drawer opening and closing in reverse until all items of clothing have been located.
Which leads to about 16 counts of drawer slamming. Which leads to the awakening of Walker, who upon being told "you have a snow day! Go back to sleep and enjoy it!" decides he cannot sleep one minute longer and has to wake up.
Insert three separate trips to the bathroom with three separate flushings and you have now woken up the baby.
Did I mention that mornings are not my favorite?
When you are up at 7 with three active kids who have torn the house apart from one end to the other by 9:15, spilled three bowls of cereal, fed the baby fruit loops, shot you three times in the face "axidwentawy" with a nerf dart gun, and then demand to go outside, it became the kind of day where you need some stupid laughs.
So, I found a link to this website a while back and it has brought me great joy. I've posted a link to it several times on facebook, but thought today I'd share it with my faithful followers.
If you're familiar with The Far Side comics/books/calendars, you will "get" this site.
Here's a review that gives a pretty good description of what the site is about:
Uncle Orson Reviews Everything
September 19, 2010Catalog Living, Wife of the Gods
Some things are so common we don't notice how absurd they are. For instance, catalogs display pictures that are meant to be "homey." But whose home is it, anyway?Who actually lives this way?
Nobody, of course. But what if they did? What would their lives and relationships be like? Actor/writer/comedian Molly Erdman provides us with her answer at a website called Catalog Living(http://catalogliving.net/page/1).
The pictures are all gorgeous -- the way catalog pictures tend to be. Serious money was spent on making these photos lush and deep and full-colored. But what are they shooting?
The entry for 21 September shows two throw pillows shaped and painted like curled-up kittycats. Erdman's caption? "Well, Elaine, if they're just pillows then why do we have a litter box? And, more importantly, who is using it?"
With most of them, however, you have to be looking at the picture as you read the caption. Otherwise it makes no sense. So all I can suggest is that you go to the site and see for yourself! It will change forever the way you look at catalogs forever.
Some of my favorites:
There are lots more that are just as fun.
Also, my sister got me hooked on this site too:
Some recent favorites: