You Might Be a Farmer's Wife . . .
I found this and am reposting. So funny! I highlighted the ones most applicable to my current life, although, several others apply to me as well. Kudos to all you farm wives out there - especially the ones that work WAY harder than I have to.
You Might be a Farmer's Wife . . .
You Might be a Farmer's Wife . . .
- If your name is taped to the side of a cakepan:
- If you call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice:
- If the vet’s number is on the speed dial of your phone:
- If you know how to change the flat on your car, but can’t because the spare is on a flatbed:
- If your second vehicle is still a pickup:
- If the folks in the Emergency Room have a pool going for your kids and it involves the type of injury and when it will occur:
- If your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your yard:
- If you’re in the habit of buying foodstuffs in bulk:
- If a "night out" involves the local 4-H club:
- If the word "auction" makes you tingle:
- If you’ve ever washed your kids or the dishes with a pressure washer:
- If "picking rock" is considered a chance to get out of the house:
- If "wild game" reminds you of dinner and not the bedroom:
- If "a little bit of lunch" involves 6 courses and a dessert made from scratch:
- If the "fresh ingredients" your recipe calls for reminds you to do the chores:
- If taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic:
- If that pail with a hole in it is a flowerpot in the making:
- If your rock garden was hand-picked:
- If you can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them:
- If you’re on the lookout for new uses for "Jell-O":
- If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells:
- If "Farm", "Ranch", "Country", "Cowboy" or "Antique" is in the name of your favorite magazine:
- If your tan lines are somewhere below your shoulder and above your elbow:
- If "Lacey" or "Frilly" refers to a farm animal but not your nightgown:
- If you ever went on a date to the rodeo:
- If you’ve ever been grateful for fingernail polish, because it hides the dirt under your nails:
- If you’ve ever called your husband to supper, using a radio: (cell phone)
- If you buy antiques because they match the rest of your furniture:
- If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer:
- If your driveway is longer than a stone’s throw:
- If your mailbox looks like a piece of farm machinery:
- If your kids’ wading pool has ever doubled as a stock tank, or vice versa:
- If the daily paper is always a day late:
- If you have a yard, but not a lawn:
- If you have lots of machinery and each piece is worth more than your house:
- If the leaky barn roof gets fixed, before the leaky house roof:
- If duct tape is always on your shopping list:
- If the neighbor’s house is best viewed with binoculars:
- If the directions to your house include the words, "miles," "silos," "last," or "gravel road":
- If the tractor and the combine have air conditioning and an FM radio but your car doesn’t:
- If your storage shed is a barn:
- If you measure travel in miles not minutes:
- If your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can’t find your husband:
- If you consider "hot dish" a food group:
- If your husband says, "Can you help me for a few minutes?" and you know that might be anywhere from a few minutes to six hours:
- If you plan your vacations around farm shows:
- If Zaa Zaa Gabor is on your list of "Most Admired Persons":
- If grass stains are the least of your laundry problems:
- If your refrigerator contains medicine, livestock medicine:
- If your car’s color is two-toned and one color is gravel road brown:
- If you knew everyone in your high school:
- If you’ve ever grown your own wall decorations:
- If you’ve entertained the romantic notion of living in an old, country farmhouse with a fireplace, but gave it up because firsthand experience tells you that it’s cold, drafty, smoky and sooty:
- If you use newspapers to help keep the kitchen floor clean:
- If you’ve ever said, "Oh, it’s only a little mud.":
- If you need a pair of vice grips to run a household appliance:
- If your husband gave you flowers, but you had to plant the seeds yourself:
- If you've used the loader to reach the windows when they needed washing:
- If you’ve ever used a broom to shoo a critter:
- If you’ve ever discovered a batch of kittens in your laundry basket:
- If dinner is at noon and lunch is before and after dinner:
- If you don't need the recipe to make Rice Krispies bars:
- If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skidsteer loader:
- If you can find a use for that old tractor seat:
- If you've ever found mice in the underwear drawer:
- If quality time with your hubby means you'll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other:
- If you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn:
- If you buy your husband's "dress" socks at Campbell's Supply:
- If family "pets" include deer, coons, squirrels, foxes or birds:
- If you can make a meal that can be ready in six minutes and will still be ready in two hours:
- If your basement is really a cellar:
- If "sharing a cab" has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field:
- If your job in town is considered a farm subsidy: